Courtesy of Justice Roe Williams.
You probably wouldn’t see the you in me now. The wisdom from years of doing more than just living. I don’t think that you believed in your own voice enough to see the power in your whisper. And when you decided that the rainbow really wasn’t enough, you didn’t realize that you are the pot of gold on the other side. And here I am to say…
I know you. I know how it feels to be “not right.” The things you were taught about yourself. Born into pinks, yellows and quiet purples. From booty socks to stockings, dresses, bangs and braids. Afraid to say no, stop, this is not me. This is not who I am. You struggled with more than seeing the wrong in you but learning this is life.
The layers of self hate permeated to the soul and something always screaming on the inside wanting people to see me from the inside out not the outside in. Those colors would mean more than socialized identities and forced role play. They would look more like dark blue, Black and deep purple. For more than 15 years now my colors have been blood red, black people and green land. Colors evolve just like your many lives.
As a child we were all shades of black and brown. You are black, they use to say “tar black.” Pretty far from light….white. I wrestled with the ugly, the ugly I believed myself to be. The awkward child that was never claimed. That poor tar black child living in back Maryland Atlantic City NJ. Not quite alone but alone on a journey finding my true self.
What you never believed you would, I did! I traveled to places all over this continent. I have gone to college twice. I haven’t finished but guaranteed I will. I was published in a book that was used in colleges across the nation. I was placed in jail for the right fight. I was honored and shamed. I loved over and over again before I knew I had to love myself. I have lived many lives….
Today I am closer to you now being me. I still have fear but a fear that can be erased with love. Real love! I wish I could have seen the power in that whisper. So what I would whisper to you is Love….. Self, please love you…me!”
Loving you abundantly,
Justice Roe Williams